My Story

I was sent to prison the summer of 1997. I went thru reception with minimal problems which I was surprised. For at the time I was an active gang member "white crip". In August of 1997 I was transfered to CCI Tehachapi. I started hanging with the homies and doing all the things that the fellas do. But deep down inside I had a secret that I hoped wouldn't come out. I was gay & the crip car don't play that game.

Well my worst nightmare came true the end of September when someone I was with who was also gay landed up on the yard with me. Before I could say anything the word had spread all over the yard that I was a fag and not to mess with me.

Well a couple of days goes by and two of the "hommies" that I use to be tight with come by my building and ask me to take a walk. I didn't think nothing of it so I went and we landed up at one of their cells. They invite me in for a drink of wine (pruno) and we start drinking. Well as we start getting drunk one of the dudes leaves and blocks the door from the outside. The other one starts telling me to give him head and I tell him I don't get down that way. That just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'll have sex with everyone. So he gets mad and punchs me in the stomach. I lose my wind and before I can catch my breath I'm laying face down on the bottom bunk with lotion and grease between my ass and I'm being sexually violated. I blackout from the pain and not wanting to feel anything. When I came to I got up and hurried to my dorm where I used the bathroom and then took a shower. After my shower I went to bed. I felt like everyone was watching me and that they all knew what happened. The next day I told my psych and the SGT came and escorted me to the program office. The whole time he was talking to me he was making things sound like it was all my fault. I was waiting for transportation to take me to the outside hospital I could hear all the C/Os making comments to each other saying "just another fag who got what they deserved."

CDC did a mock investigation that lasted about 10 days. Then I went in front of the committee who basically said I was making things up just like all the gays do. We have sex with people then cry rape. I was so mad I wanted to strangle everyone in the room. I had to deal with nightmares & sleepless nights right after the incident. I even tried to commit suicide by overdose.

Now 9 years later I'm back in the same prison and I thought I had gotten over everything but since being back here the hate and anger has come back real strong. It's not just because of the sexual assault but because of the cover up by CDC and the way homosexual prisoners get treated by CDC period.

- Taz, California